Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Place to Belong

Letting things go in my life is the theme lately. Although my "job" is something I'm still trying to work with. I've been toying with idea of packing up the hatchback and heading east. With the pending winter I think I'd have to head southeast.. I know a few people along the middle portion of the country and maybe somewhere I could stay in AZ for a few days... Of course, heading cross country doesn't have to happen right NOW but I can't think of many reasons to stay here for the time being and if I do stay here my money will just continue to run out. It'd be more fun running out of money while at least exploring other parts of the country.

So I'm trying to get rid of shit. Here is round one: 
Not impressive, I know but this is 2 hours of purging. 
I'm finding myself just bored lately. I'm bored with people and life. I feel useless because I'm not doing anything productive during the day. Being a well rounded contented person really is having all facets of life somewhat fulfilled. I say somewhat because I'm unsure that everything can always be 100%. Typically if something is off the charts good in one area something may be lacking in the other. I remember when I was fat and going to school working towards the radiology field, I had straight A's taking Chem, Anatomy and Physiology, all with labs, in one semester. I was never a straight A student and for sure not in anything that was as tough and required as much study time as those classes listed above. But I was unhealthy and the relationship I was in was blah. I loved those classes and if education wasn't a shit load of money I'd probably try to get into medical school but at this point I'm not sure its worth it. 

Of course maybe all this is just a giant crash after the Norm Swarm from the last couple months. That was fun while it lasted and I've been trying not to have what one friend calls "shiny-object-syndrome" and make things out of nothings. Because friends of Norm all have really great ideas, right? Write a book! Make more shirts! Do this and that! Have I mentioned that my least favorite word is "should"? If I have more people telling me what I "should" do with Norm, my job, my life I'm going to fucking crack. I've already felt the crack begin and I'll admit I like what I'm seeing inside. It's kind of a big fuck-you to no one in particular and makes me want to get rid of all my shit and just leave. 

And now that this is all negative and depressing I'm wondering if I "should" post this at all. I'm going to. Because I think the traffic on this is like 4 or 5 people :) And I like all of you. Any advice that doesn't contain the word "should" is encouraged. 


  1. I should add to this that I just noticed my post from Sept 11 has a photo of me all excited about life. Wow. Talk about ups and downs. :D Weeeeee! Maybe I just need to go for another run and take a shower.

  2. Hope you're not running away from anything. Your big clean up is similar to what I do when I'm headed for or in need of some change....I grow my hair out really long, and when I think I'm where I need to be, I shave it all off. If anything, doing that just changes my outlook on things for the better. Good luck to you. Make room for me if you do travel and don't mind me tagging along. I have gas money.

    1. I need road trip hair. I don't think I'm running away from anything.. If I am, it's sure to follow me throughout the country. I'll keep checking my mirrors :)