Sun is Shining

I drove into Sacramento late last week. I immediately set out on an 8 mile run to cleanse myself from the long drive. I've gotten myself to a bit more of a settled state and found a part time job. I'll be working in an office for a high profile divorce attorney. I suspect the mundane office work will be livened by what happens when people get into shitty situations for long periods of time. 

I would like to say my road trip home was a blast and I saw new places. The truth is I see now in looking back at the photos how great it was. The coast is beautiful which is why I chose it for driving back home. I knew the juxtaposition of where my mind was with the beauty in front of me would help get me through the long days. 

Moab Arches 

Falls about 45 minutes outside of Portland

Hike break with the girls

Astoria Oregon I thank you for the Chocolate Croissant - twice.

I'm definitely in a transitional phase in my life - much like I was before I left for Colorado. I don't see myself staying in Sacramento for long. Gaining confidence in what my next move is while connecting with those I enjoy having in my life is what my days are for now. 

 One of my favorite spots was Bandon. It was sunny when I arrived (photo of coast above) and the next morning I went out for an hour and got absolutely drenched. There are many beautiful spots along the Western Coast. I took the time to drive through Avenue of the Giants as well and came across a tree I could drive through. Everything was eerily desolate being very early in the morning and nothing open. I felt like the girls and I were the only life on the road. It was peaceful. 

Today the sun is starting to peak through and the hours are getting away from me. Need to enjoy the last days before I start working (part of the time) again. 

Swollen

I've found myself inspired by the song, "The Fear" by Lily Allen recently on my runs. I don't normally listen to my ipod when I'm running but brought it out one day when doing what is becoming my favorite hill routine (we'll see how long that lasts). 

Miss Allen had a short lived pop career that was ridiculed mostly for how outspoken she was. That's perhaps why I like her. The song is kind of cliché, sure, but she's making fun of consumerism and it was on the heels of a successful first album. I imagine she was experiencing attention and pressure and this was her way of giving a big fuck you in her direct sort of way. She was quoted as fearing "of the world becoming this horrible sterile place. Being scared that there's never going to be anything real any more that isn't sponsored."

I think about this stuff while I'm running because its when I'm most at peace, mentally. I suppose running is when I feel most real and unaffected. 

Listen to Lily's Fear here 

See hill workout here 

Still enjoying the beautiful scenery even if its "colder than a witches tit" (Grandma McCoy taught me that).

I ramped up mileage this first week of January ending with just over 50 miles total. And being that we're in this beautiful part of the country my Garmin is reporting over 5400 feet of elevation gain (!!!) Keeping this up shouldn't be difficult and I'd expect to see a huge increase in fitness this year. First race of the year will be Antelope Island 50 miler in March! 

CIM 2013

Last Friday we made it out to Sac for CIM. Mom and Dad picked us up from the airport and we promptly went to the expo to pick up my bib. I was nostalgic in the car driving up J Street but not regretful that I am no longer living there. But I do love Sacramento - that will always remain true. 

The weekend was pretty casual and relaxed. I hadn't run the entire week leading up to CIM because Grand Junction saw a pretty good snow storm early in the week but I wasn't letting that sink into my head too much. I figured this was going to be the perfect example of going into a race undertrained rather than my typical 50 average miles per week. 

Celebrating Tim's Hardrock entry Saturday

Sacramento was seeing a cold front as well and it was about 25 degrees, I think, when the race started. I had to give my watch to Tim because his was about to die. I was grateful not to have the thing on actually and not pay any attention to it. I trusted Tim and the pace he was going to set for us to make it in before 3:35. 

Our pace was pretty quick from the start (about 8s) and it felt quick but not uncomfortable. We cruised into the half at 1:44 and I was still feeling good. I wasn't totally comfortable but I reminded myself that I was running a marathon PR and I wasn't supposed to be comfortable. I still had a pace I thought we could sustain. We averaged a 7:58 through mile 20 and Tim said we should pull back a bit just to be conservative for the last 6 miles. "A 10K is still a long way to go" he said. By this time my breathing had become really labored and everything was just kind of a blur. Typically in a road marathon I'm making eye contact with spectators and smiling and consciously noticing things. All I had in me, especially those last 6 miles, were focus. 

By mile 25 I was crying and professing my undying love to Tim. I was thinking about the finish ahead and finally qualifying for Boston after attempting it the year previous at the same race. 

Happy with our 3:32:32

We flew home the next morning and the snow was still here waiting for us. It's starting to warm up a bit now - we might make 30 degrees today! I'm starting to toughen up my California skin (June Bug, too)! It makes me look forward to spring and finally getting out more on the beautiful trails that surround our home. Until then, I'll keep my mileage low and stay cozy. 

Palisades Brewery - Cozy.

No Bones About It!

I'm not even entirely sure what that phrase means but I'm happy to report after my 2nd mtn bike ride I have not broken any bones! I have a few bruises and scrapes that make me feel super tough (and make someone else laugh at me..) Two days ago I completed 2 loops on a 3.5 mile "beginner" course up in Fruita. I had to walk the bike a few times but not without attempting the situation first. I am getting more comfortable on the bike which has been the main goal. And now its getting frosty and cloudy so this may be the end of my mtn biking season. It makes me look forward to spring! 

I need to start taking my camera with me on my running and biking excursions so I have something exciting to post. It's so amazingly beautiful here - the sunsets over the Bookcliffs and Grand Mesa never cease to catch my eye on a daily basis.

Oh lookie! I found a photo online - Bookcliffs

I've realized just recently that I've been letting other's doubts of my coming here affect my overall peace. It's hard to ignore. And as I was telling Tim - I try to operate out of compassion and love so I try to be understanding of what others might be going through. But then I start forgetting the whole reason why I came here in the first place. The fact is I'm living in 300 square feet with someone and I don't feel like killing him. That should be something to celebrate, not attack. But I'm getting better at looking forward and not hanging on to other's negative opinions. 

I had a great training run yesterday for CIM. I was nervous going out for a speed run without Tim since he's been accompanying (pacing) me the last few weeks. It was a good test to see if I had my own mojo to get the work done (I did!) 7 miles completed with 5 miles progressively faster from 7:55 - 7:26. Starting to finally get excited for December 8th!

New Home, New Hobby

Eighteen days ago I arrived in Grand Junction with nothing more than a carload of my possessions including Gracie and June Bug. Everything else that was in my apartment in Sacramento is either housed with a new owner or sitting at a dump. Getting rid of stuff was surprisingly easy. I didn't have anxiety about it other than thinking I probably could have received money for it had I been more systematic about it. This was the first time for me getting rid of everything I owned though and I whenever I tried to just sit and strategize how to do it I kind of ended up in a stupor staring at my wall wondering what the hell I was doing. Funny how "stuff" has such an impact on someone's perceived place in life. 

An unfortunate set of circumstances had me sick the first week I was in Colorado. I was back and forth between feeling well enough to get out for a short run and being sick with chills and completely laid out on the couch for the first half of the day. I don't do well mentally when I'm physically ill - probably because I tend to be pretty active, otherwise. I start thinking things like "I'm never going to feel good again...my life is basically going to shit..." wah wah wah. I think, oddly, this may have helped with my transition moving. I had no time to think about the people in Sacramento giving odd response to my leaving because I was in bit of a survival mode. 

So things have been on the up swing since that first week. Tim received two entries to the Rim Rock Marathon and we both had a great race coming in an hour before we thought. This was a training run for my BQ attempt at CIM in 4 weeks. Tim will fly to Sac and pace me. And I've decided to not put my name in for Western States since traveling back and forth to California is pricey and time consuming. Not to mention it's one week after Bryce 100, one of the races that Tim is co-directing. If I feel the need to run 100 miles in 2014 I'm intrigued by Bear 100. It's close and a point to point race that starts in Utah and finishes in Idaho. 

I bought a mountain bike yesterday. The plan is to start on easy trails (I hope similar to fire road) and not hurt myself. And I've been knitting like crazy! Life here is a bit slower for me than it was in Sac and I like that. I was first drawn to knitting because of the creativity and I could never stick with it because it takes a patient mentality. Patience is one of the things I'm fine tuning here in Colorado. Hopefully the running is being fine tuned as well but since I haven't run since the marathon I can't comment on that with any confidence for the moment. 

Hopefully the next photo isn't one with a broken bone

Crafty.

Place to Belong

Letting things go in my life is the theme lately. Although my "job" is something I'm still trying to work with. I've been toying with idea of packing up the hatchback and heading east. With the pending winter I think I'd have to head southeast.. I know a few people along the middle portion of the country and maybe somewhere I could stay in AZ for a few days... Of course, heading cross country doesn't have to happen right NOW but I can't think of many reasons to stay here for the time being and if I do stay here my money will just continue to run out. It'd be more fun running out of money while at least exploring other parts of the country.

So I'm trying to get rid of shit. Here is round one: 

Not impressive, I know but this is 2 hours of purging. 

I'm finding myself just bored lately. I'm bored with people and life. I feel useless because I'm not doing anything productive during the day. Being a well rounded contented person really is having all facets of life somewhat fulfilled. I say somewhat because I'm unsure that everything can always be 100%. Typically if something is off the charts good in one area something may be lacking in the other. I remember when I was fat and going to school working towards the radiology field, I had straight A's taking Chem, Anatomy and Physiology, all with labs, in one semester. I was never a straight A student and for sure not in anything that was as tough and required as much study time as those classes listed above. But I was unhealthy and the relationship I was in was blah. I loved those classes and if education wasn't a shit load of money I'd probably try to get into medical school but at this point I'm not sure its worth it. 

Of course maybe all this is just a giant crash after the Norm Swarm from the last couple months. That was fun while it lasted and I've been trying not to have what one friend calls "shiny-object-syndrome" and make things out of nothings. Because friends of Norm all have really great ideas, right? Write a book! Make more shirts! Do this and that! Have I mentioned that my least favorite word is "should"? If I have more people telling me what I "should" do with Norm, my job, my life I'm going to fucking crack. I've already felt the crack begin and I'll admit I like what I'm seeing inside. It's kind of a big fuck-you to no one in particular and makes me want to get rid of all my shit and just leave. 

And now that this is all negative and depressing I'm wondering if I "should" post this at all. I'm going to. Because I think the traffic on this is like 4 or 5 people :) And I like all of you. Any advice that doesn't contain the word "should" is encouraged. 

On the Run

I started journaling again and realized that I only typically write or blog when I have something of triumph or trauma to share. So I wanted to jump on here and give an update. Especially given the interesting weekend I just had.

How I feel about Life these days

Since May I’ve halted any type of “racing” but had my share of events including pacing Tan to his San Diego 100 finish, Safety Patroling at Western States for the 2^nd year in a row, Ultra Tahoe Trail Relay by Ragnar, Hood to Coast Relay and most recently Ultra Colorado Relay by Ragnar. In case you are wondering and for my own reminder, I’m over relays. They’re fun but you can only do so many before you become completely complacent about the whole thing.

Pacific Crest Trail

Tan mile 93 or so after a little nappy poo.

I’ll share the experience of Colorado since it was just last weekend and I fell in love while I was there. The total distance was about 200 miles and it was split up between 6 people. One of our runners fell ill a couple of days before the race. He still made it but wasn’t in great shape to knock out 30 miles with his head cold. I happily volunteered to take on some extra mileage so I started my run atop Copper Mountain around 10,500 feet. My lungs burned for the first half mile climb until it toed down to a nice 9 mile decent. I took on the 9 miles and then added my next 2 legs to play catch-up with our runner schedule. This was all going so well until mile 18 (of 24). For some reason, much like my last post in May, my stomach goes sour when I’m in elevation. I wasn’t even pushing the pace and by 18 I started getting the nauseous feeling in my gut. I was running along a highway with no vans in site and doing the math of what the legs I was running totaled. When I initially started running I thought it was about 22 but then as I was feeling sick and my mind became mathematically sharp, for survival purposes, I realized that I had close to a marathon in front of me.  

Thankfully at mile 21 there was a van pulled off to the side to give their runner water. I had been run/walking the last mile or so and was desperate to stop based on previous experiences of this nausea. I knew I could finish the last 3 miles in front of me but we weren’t a competitive team and I also knew that my stomach wouldn’t make right until I stopped running. The van, named “Fatboys”, offered me a ride and I gladly accepted. They knew our situation and I thanked them for likely saving the next 25 miles I had to run in the next 20 hours or so.

The rest of the running was great, stomach was fine and scenery was beautiful. Colorado has odd weather. It was hot during the day. I think the weather was reading mid-70’s but I’ve come to realize this feels like 90 when you are above 9K feet. I actually chafed between my legs (!!!) for the first time for saturating myself during a 14 miles run in exposed sun. By saturating I don’t mean soiled, but just dousing with cold water. Every afternoon brought clouds, rain and lightning. Colorado has an immaculate and extensive bike trail system that most of our running was on. Impressive isn’t the right word, but it’s the first that comes to mind.

Early in the day up at Copper Mountain resort I had the idea to move there during the winter and work at a ski resort. I’m sure the pay would be shit but I’m wondering if I could possibly make the arrangement work. Of course I have a small farm I would have to transport with me and given that things freeze in Colorado this farm would have to remain indoors with me. It is an undeveloped idea at best but moving is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’m wonder if I’m running to or from something. I’ve been reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk and listening to Pink Floyd lately… Not sure why but that seems relevant right here.

Finish Line at Ragnar. Not a bad place to finish a race.

I ended up “accidentally” running over 70 miles this last week. I kinda went big with my running in the days before Colorado and then with the additional miles I had the biggest mileage week I’ve seen in several months. But it felt really good. I’m taking a break this week, likely getting in about 40 miles but want to keep at it with the high mileage. I feel like I think more clearly. Plus I can justify bacon cheeseburgers.