Catching Up - CIM 2015 & Mt. Whitney

I'm floored I have not posted here for two years! Especially after having the best CIM December 2015. I finally broke 3:30 and my favorite people were at the finish line or on the course along the way to greet me.

2016 started off getting into Miwok 100K and winning the lotto for Mt. Whitney on July 4th. 2016 was meant to be a big year with hopes of getting into Western States for 2017 and getting more grounded in my newish job with the State of California.




Still smiling although cold, dehydrated and hungry
Photo: Aunt Terry
 

Never happier at the finish of a marathon!
Photo: Baby Daddy: David Grabowski

Different plans were in store and big is understatement. But first, I will say that Miwok 100K was the best ultra race (following a great race I had on my birthday at Sonoma 50 miler) I have ever had. I think my goal was to break 15 hours and I came close to breaking 14 hours. Undertrained seems to be the best way for me to PR. And since I never want to leave out the gory details of my ultra runs I won't leave out that after breaking 10 hours at Sonoma 50 miler, I waved at David, went straight for the bushes and vomited. I was so happy for breaking 10 hours that I didn't care how poor my stomach felt.

Fast forward to June and I was invited to meet the Grabowski's in the sweet country town of Lancaster, PA. David and I attended his cousins wedding in the oldest building (church), in the US, I've ever set foot in and discovered fireflies. Did you know that it is their BUTTS that light up? I was so delighted.

Lancaster, PA June 2016

We got home towards the end of June and finally secured a lease on a bigger place. We moved the weekend before we were set to head out to Mt. Whitney and things were a little hectic. I felt "off" and I had a feeling I was pregnant. A few days and 3 pregnancy tests later revealed what I had suspected. There was something brewing inside. We found out the morning we drove to Lone Pine on July 2nd. We met up with our friends, Bruce, Kelly and John and camped out near Whitney Portal. On July 3rd we hiked/ran up to Kearsarge Pass for a warm up to Whitney.



Still smiling although I think we were both terrified at the news we had received the previous morning.
 

The next morning we woke and drove to Whitney Portal around 3:30 a.m.. Whitney was amazing and there is so much I could say about it but really one must experience it. It's 22 miles to the top and back. There are options, if one is lucky in the lottery, to do a multi-day pass so one can hike a half way up, camp, and then do the rest the next day. We were ballsy and did it in 1 day. The person I was worried about was David because he hadn't really trained. He is still new to the "long distance" thing and thinks that because he ran a marathon it would be no problem. I think he realized about 3/4 of the way up that he should have listened to his girlfriend :) He was a soldier and powered through it. He was also carrying not only his poop in the porta bag on his back but mine as well. If he's not a keeper, I don't think anyone is.

Top of Whitney - John, Kelly, Bruce, David, Me
 






 

Post CIM Thoughts

Good Spirits! 

I have tried not to think too much about CIM this past Sunday. I stuck vigorously to a training plan in hopes to break a 3:30 marathon and what resulted would be hopefully the most unpleasant marathon I'll ever experience. I had a great race up until mile 17 or 18 when things drastically went south in my stomach. I actually puked 3 times on the side of the road. This began at mile 22 and if you're familiar with CIM you'll know that the crowd thickens right at about...mile 22. I may have discouraged many people this past Sunday from every attempting a marathon - a PDA (public dis-service announcement) if you will. 

The cause of this is most likely an electrolyte imbalance. I've seen this happen twice in 50 mile runs (previous shit show) but never a marathon. The weather was probably about 55 degrees at the start and rose from there. I was sweating like crazy and had salt crystals caked around my eyes and I only had water and GU&GU(Roctane) gels for nutrition. Last year, in much colder weather, I still had GU(Roctane) energy drink, as well as the GU gels. Totally my fault for not thinking about taking that with me on this run and I suffered the consequences. 

After the race we had pizza and beer (or bubble water) back at Kevin's place (the place he's graciously allowed for me to call home for several months). Having so many great people over at the house after the race really made me forget about the crappy run I just had. And honestly it didn't really feel like that bad of a day. I remember saying to Kevin in those last couple miles (he joined me in my stagger to the finish from mi. 24) "Today was a good day... other than this part". I think I spotted more people that I knew as spectators this year than previous years. There's got to be a reason I keep coming back after 5 years! 

My 5-time finisher mug picked up Friday previous to the race. Had it not been for this mug sitting at home I may have called it a day! 

Boston 2015 is where I hope to see a redemption run! 

Redemption Run - Silver State 50M

Ran Silver State 50 Miler last Saturday for the 2nd time. The experience was 100% pleasant, although I missed my friend Tan's smiling face and walking with me for 5 hours (for a mere 17 miles). The course was still humbling. It took me 10:41 for the 51 mile course and had me re-thinking what kind of shape I'm in. I thought I would have been closer to 10 hours. I was supposed to run a 44 mile loop in Yosemite last weekend. When it cancelled due to snow filled peaks I decided to give it another go in Reno. This was always a training run for the upcoming 4 day Tahoe Rim Trail in July. I figured I'd take it real easy and just focus on staying fueled and feeling good the whole time. Mission accomplished. I felt like I could have kept going when I finished and knocked out 12 trail miles the following morning ending the week with about 85 miles. 

And I just signed up for a double century in the Eastern Sierras less than 2 weeks away. It's funny because I don't really ride that much. But that's the thing. It wouldn't be an adventure if I knew I was well trained and could do it. I have no idea if I'll finish 200 miles on a bike right now. The most mileage I've done was about 70 last week and it was all on my single speed. Again, the goal will be slow and easy to complete and not injure myself. A nice diversion from running for a weekend and with beautiful scenery. 

Plus I saw this on the menu at a nearby restaurant. Yes, please. 

Cluck Cluck Club of Raymond's Deli

Weekend & Other Heavy Thoughts On Life

I was just telling a friend yesterday that I was feeling better emotionally since leaving Colorado. Although that is true there is still so much that time hasn't healed yet and sometimes I go to a place where I am full of self-doubt and pain. I try to enjoy the misery as I know how and find a creative or active outlet in the discomfort. That's why I've been running so much and feeling great with it. It's also why I've picked up the knitting needles, the paint brush and write more for a change. 

We're on earth for such a short period of time that its easy to spend the entire time figuring out what it is we're meant to be doing while we are here. I guess the only thing I know for sure is that loving oneself is the best start to living. Once you can forgive yourself and be at peace with decisions you've made in the past can you then be patient and empathetic with others. Love begets love. Loving yourself is the first step, in my opinion, to having a healthy relationship with people and things around you. 

Photos from weekend: 

Reading what I hoped was a love note but was instructions.  Derrick skeptical in the back.

Skills.

On the beach from Pt. Reyes

Enjoying my run back to the car solo. My friends were more ambitious with their mileage. 

Bike ride to Capitol Tap Room

Keep loving. 

Ashes to Ash & Funk to Funky

I had a very decent run today up in Auburn. I headed up there after work for 14 miles in the hills. I have the idea to put in an average of 10 miles per day in March. It's probably a stupid idea but as long as I'm feeling strong I'll keep chugging along. 

Color in Sun

I like making them a bit longer Dopey style 

I also finally went and purchased some more yarn! I'm really happy how this hat turned out and though I want it for myself I thought I'd give a shot at selling it from Facebook first. The color reminds me of the Slurpee. And now I'm thirsty. 

JB Approved!

In other news I'm thinking about running Modesto marathon bandit style with Derrick... I think he's shooting for sub 3:35... I don't know if I could do that right now but it might be fun to try. Next up will be Grand Canyon for R2R2R. I'm really looking forward to getting back to that big hole in the ground. 

  

She's Crafty

Lately I've had a creative nagging. I'm not sure from where it comes... I've had the urge to buy canvas, paint and just go for it. Then I found this cool little dresser at a used store. They had one exactly like it with fresh paint only $10 more but I had an idea. 

Before shot - can't tell from the photo but it was really dirty and beat up.

A trip to Lowe's for some sand paper and I rounded the edges and smoothed it out. I had a friend with some extra paint so I saved some money there. 

Quick top coat of black.

I looked up a few blogs and instructions on how to get a "vintage" look but realized the only way to try this was to do it. I can't read about something I want to learn - I just have to do it. 

Red coat over the black.

Sweet nobs I picked up.

I'm quite pleased with the finish! So is Gracie! I needed the extra clothing space for my room since I'm starting fresh. This dresser is actually the exact match (but miniature) to a dresser I've had since I was a baby. That one is currently in my mom's closet. I'm going to paint it next but with a cream color finish instead. 

Miss Gracie excited for her new dresser

I'm still going to buy canvas and paint. Hopefully an artist friend of mine whose talent I admire a great deal will help me learn how to hold a brush. I might even acquire a little french hat for full artist affect. 

Blue Moon

I've found my spring album, I think. Obsession begin. 

Alive

I've been trying to make the most of idle time to grow personally. I realized today this is something I should have always been focusing on but its easy to let things distract. I believe focusing on my own personal growth is why I don't mind working part-time in a job that is, well, menial. I was told by the attorney she feared my getting bored soon with this work. It's only been a week and half so its hard to say but there is such a freedom in working and staying busy with things that need to get done and then retiring at noon for a day that is all mine to make use of. The opportunity has been quite rewarding for me. 

My hope is to continue to save and go to Tahoe in May or June. Everything in life is temporary so I have no expectation of when this will actually happen or how long I would be there but Tahoe has consistently been on my mind since the road trip. 

I'm heading out for a (hopefully) wet run. Nice to have the rain back after several weeks of near 80 degree weather. Gracie had to get her hair did - too hot for such a hairy monkey. 

Trees in full spring bloom

After

Before

I know... she's so cute with long hair. Sigh....

Coffee, Run, Ice Cream

These things have been my Prozac lately. I ended up running 75 miles last week with about 6500 of gain. A 23 mile run in there really kicked my ass since I haven't run more than 14 since CIM. I've been riding my single speed around as well the last couple of days to mix up the workouts. Forgot how much I love that bike. 

Keeping it juvenile with Mr. Tsang

Lately I've realized how comforting a cup of coffee is to me. Although I'm missing the crisp, clean, cool air of Colorado it feels nice sitting outside a coffee shop in 70 degrees with my girls. My running pace slows exponentially with warm weather but I guess its good training.. if I were to train for something. 

"I need a haircut, mom"

I've eaten an unhealthy amount of dessert lately. After I saw the elevation gain in my running last week I stopped feeling guilty about it long enough to have an ice cream sundae at the newly re-opened Farrell's last night. That place is a carnival. Banging on drums for birthdays and people dressed in funny hats and balloons. And really loud circus music. 

Next time it will be the Volcano Brownie

This week is looking to be a high mileage week as well. I'm really enjoying the outdoors and then diving into a book in the evenings. It helps the time go by and keeps the thoughts at a safe distance. 

Sun is Shining

I drove into Sacramento late last week. I immediately set out on an 8 mile run to cleanse myself from the long drive. I've gotten myself to a bit more of a settled state and found a part time job. I'll be working in an office for a high profile divorce attorney. I suspect the mundane office work will be livened by what happens when people get into shitty situations for long periods of time. 

I would like to say my road trip home was a blast and I saw new places. The truth is I see now in looking back at the photos how great it was. The coast is beautiful which is why I chose it for driving back home. I knew the juxtaposition of where my mind was with the beauty in front of me would help get me through the long days. 

Moab Arches 

Falls about 45 minutes outside of Portland

Hike break with the girls

Astoria Oregon I thank you for the Chocolate Croissant - twice.

I'm definitely in a transitional phase in my life - much like I was before I left for Colorado. I don't see myself staying in Sacramento for long. Gaining confidence in what my next move is while connecting with those I enjoy having in my life is what my days are for now. 

 One of my favorite spots was Bandon. It was sunny when I arrived (photo of coast above) and the next morning I went out for an hour and got absolutely drenched. There are many beautiful spots along the Western Coast. I took the time to drive through Avenue of the Giants as well and came across a tree I could drive through. Everything was eerily desolate being very early in the morning and nothing open. I felt like the girls and I were the only life on the road. It was peaceful. 

Today the sun is starting to peak through and the hours are getting away from me. Need to enjoy the last days before I start working (part of the time) again. 

Swollen

I've found myself inspired by the song, "The Fear" by Lily Allen recently on my runs. I don't normally listen to my ipod when I'm running but brought it out one day when doing what is becoming my favorite hill routine (we'll see how long that lasts). 

Miss Allen had a short lived pop career that was ridiculed mostly for how outspoken she was. That's perhaps why I like her. The song is kind of cliché, sure, but she's making fun of consumerism and it was on the heels of a successful first album. I imagine she was experiencing attention and pressure and this was her way of giving a big fuck you in her direct sort of way. She was quoted as fearing "of the world becoming this horrible sterile place. Being scared that there's never going to be anything real any more that isn't sponsored."

I think about this stuff while I'm running because its when I'm most at peace, mentally. I suppose running is when I feel most real and unaffected. 

Listen to Lily's Fear here 

See hill workout here 

Still enjoying the beautiful scenery even if its "colder than a witches tit" (Grandma McCoy taught me that).

I ramped up mileage this first week of January ending with just over 50 miles total. And being that we're in this beautiful part of the country my Garmin is reporting over 5400 feet of elevation gain (!!!) Keeping this up shouldn't be difficult and I'd expect to see a huge increase in fitness this year. First race of the year will be Antelope Island 50 miler in March! 

CIM 2013

Last Friday we made it out to Sac for CIM. Mom and Dad picked us up from the airport and we promptly went to the expo to pick up my bib. I was nostalgic in the car driving up J Street but not regretful that I am no longer living there. But I do love Sacramento - that will always remain true. 

The weekend was pretty casual and relaxed. I hadn't run the entire week leading up to CIM because Grand Junction saw a pretty good snow storm early in the week but I wasn't letting that sink into my head too much. I figured this was going to be the perfect example of going into a race undertrained rather than my typical 50 average miles per week. 

Celebrating Tim's Hardrock entry Saturday

Sacramento was seeing a cold front as well and it was about 25 degrees, I think, when the race started. I had to give my watch to Tim because his was about to die. I was grateful not to have the thing on actually and not pay any attention to it. I trusted Tim and the pace he was going to set for us to make it in before 3:35. 

Our pace was pretty quick from the start (about 8s) and it felt quick but not uncomfortable. We cruised into the half at 1:44 and I was still feeling good. I wasn't totally comfortable but I reminded myself that I was running a marathon PR and I wasn't supposed to be comfortable. I still had a pace I thought we could sustain. We averaged a 7:58 through mile 20 and Tim said we should pull back a bit just to be conservative for the last 6 miles. "A 10K is still a long way to go" he said. By this time my breathing had become really labored and everything was just kind of a blur. Typically in a road marathon I'm making eye contact with spectators and smiling and consciously noticing things. All I had in me, especially those last 6 miles, were focus. 

By mile 25 I was crying and professing my undying love to Tim. I was thinking about the finish ahead and finally qualifying for Boston after attempting it the year previous at the same race. 

Happy with our 3:32:32

We flew home the next morning and the snow was still here waiting for us. It's starting to warm up a bit now - we might make 30 degrees today! I'm starting to toughen up my California skin (June Bug, too)! It makes me look forward to spring and finally getting out more on the beautiful trails that surround our home. Until then, I'll keep my mileage low and stay cozy. 

Palisades Brewery - Cozy.

No Bones About It!

I'm not even entirely sure what that phrase means but I'm happy to report after my 2nd mtn bike ride I have not broken any bones! I have a few bruises and scrapes that make me feel super tough (and make someone else laugh at me..) Two days ago I completed 2 loops on a 3.5 mile "beginner" course up in Fruita. I had to walk the bike a few times but not without attempting the situation first. I am getting more comfortable on the bike which has been the main goal. And now its getting frosty and cloudy so this may be the end of my mtn biking season. It makes me look forward to spring! 

I need to start taking my camera with me on my running and biking excursions so I have something exciting to post. It's so amazingly beautiful here - the sunsets over the Bookcliffs and Grand Mesa never cease to catch my eye on a daily basis.

Oh lookie! I found a photo online - Bookcliffs

I've realized just recently that I've been letting other's doubts of my coming here affect my overall peace. It's hard to ignore. And as I was telling Tim - I try to operate out of compassion and love so I try to be understanding of what others might be going through. But then I start forgetting the whole reason why I came here in the first place. The fact is I'm living in 300 square feet with someone and I don't feel like killing him. That should be something to celebrate, not attack. But I'm getting better at looking forward and not hanging on to other's negative opinions. 

I had a great training run yesterday for CIM. I was nervous going out for a speed run without Tim since he's been accompanying (pacing) me the last few weeks. It was a good test to see if I had my own mojo to get the work done (I did!) 7 miles completed with 5 miles progressively faster from 7:55 - 7:26. Starting to finally get excited for December 8th!

New Home, New Hobby

Eighteen days ago I arrived in Grand Junction with nothing more than a carload of my possessions including Gracie and June Bug. Everything else that was in my apartment in Sacramento is either housed with a new owner or sitting at a dump. Getting rid of stuff was surprisingly easy. I didn't have anxiety about it other than thinking I probably could have received money for it had I been more systematic about it. This was the first time for me getting rid of everything I owned though and I whenever I tried to just sit and strategize how to do it I kind of ended up in a stupor staring at my wall wondering what the hell I was doing. Funny how "stuff" has such an impact on someone's perceived place in life. 

An unfortunate set of circumstances had me sick the first week I was in Colorado. I was back and forth between feeling well enough to get out for a short run and being sick with chills and completely laid out on the couch for the first half of the day. I don't do well mentally when I'm physically ill - probably because I tend to be pretty active, otherwise. I start thinking things like "I'm never going to feel good again...my life is basically going to shit..." wah wah wah. I think, oddly, this may have helped with my transition moving. I had no time to think about the people in Sacramento giving odd response to my leaving because I was in bit of a survival mode. 

So things have been on the up swing since that first week. Tim received two entries to the Rim Rock Marathon and we both had a great race coming in an hour before we thought. This was a training run for my BQ attempt at CIM in 4 weeks. Tim will fly to Sac and pace me. And I've decided to not put my name in for Western States since traveling back and forth to California is pricey and time consuming. Not to mention it's one week after Bryce 100, one of the races that Tim is co-directing. If I feel the need to run 100 miles in 2014 I'm intrigued by Bear 100. It's close and a point to point race that starts in Utah and finishes in Idaho. 

I bought a mountain bike yesterday. The plan is to start on easy trails (I hope similar to fire road) and not hurt myself. And I've been knitting like crazy! Life here is a bit slower for me than it was in Sac and I like that. I was first drawn to knitting because of the creativity and I could never stick with it because it takes a patient mentality. Patience is one of the things I'm fine tuning here in Colorado. Hopefully the running is being fine tuned as well but since I haven't run since the marathon I can't comment on that with any confidence for the moment. 

Hopefully the next photo isn't one with a broken bone

Crafty.

Place to Belong

Letting things go in my life is the theme lately. Although my "job" is something I'm still trying to work with. I've been toying with idea of packing up the hatchback and heading east. With the pending winter I think I'd have to head southeast.. I know a few people along the middle portion of the country and maybe somewhere I could stay in AZ for a few days... Of course, heading cross country doesn't have to happen right NOW but I can't think of many reasons to stay here for the time being and if I do stay here my money will just continue to run out. It'd be more fun running out of money while at least exploring other parts of the country.

So I'm trying to get rid of shit. Here is round one: 

Not impressive, I know but this is 2 hours of purging. 

I'm finding myself just bored lately. I'm bored with people and life. I feel useless because I'm not doing anything productive during the day. Being a well rounded contented person really is having all facets of life somewhat fulfilled. I say somewhat because I'm unsure that everything can always be 100%. Typically if something is off the charts good in one area something may be lacking in the other. I remember when I was fat and going to school working towards the radiology field, I had straight A's taking Chem, Anatomy and Physiology, all with labs, in one semester. I was never a straight A student and for sure not in anything that was as tough and required as much study time as those classes listed above. But I was unhealthy and the relationship I was in was blah. I loved those classes and if education wasn't a shit load of money I'd probably try to get into medical school but at this point I'm not sure its worth it. 

Of course maybe all this is just a giant crash after the Norm Swarm from the last couple months. That was fun while it lasted and I've been trying not to have what one friend calls "shiny-object-syndrome" and make things out of nothings. Because friends of Norm all have really great ideas, right? Write a book! Make more shirts! Do this and that! Have I mentioned that my least favorite word is "should"? If I have more people telling me what I "should" do with Norm, my job, my life I'm going to fucking crack. I've already felt the crack begin and I'll admit I like what I'm seeing inside. It's kind of a big fuck-you to no one in particular and makes me want to get rid of all my shit and just leave. 

And now that this is all negative and depressing I'm wondering if I "should" post this at all. I'm going to. Because I think the traffic on this is like 4 or 5 people :) And I like all of you. Any advice that doesn't contain the word "should" is encouraged. 

On the Run

I started journaling again and realized that I only typically write or blog when I have something of triumph or trauma to share. So I wanted to jump on here and give an update. Especially given the interesting weekend I just had.

How I feel about Life these days

Since May I’ve halted any type of “racing” but had my share of events including pacing Tan to his San Diego 100 finish, Safety Patroling at Western States for the 2^nd year in a row, Ultra Tahoe Trail Relay by Ragnar, Hood to Coast Relay and most recently Ultra Colorado Relay by Ragnar. In case you are wondering and for my own reminder, I’m over relays. They’re fun but you can only do so many before you become completely complacent about the whole thing.

Pacific Crest Trail

Tan mile 93 or so after a little nappy poo.

I’ll share the experience of Colorado since it was just last weekend and I fell in love while I was there. The total distance was about 200 miles and it was split up between 6 people. One of our runners fell ill a couple of days before the race. He still made it but wasn’t in great shape to knock out 30 miles with his head cold. I happily volunteered to take on some extra mileage so I started my run atop Copper Mountain around 10,500 feet. My lungs burned for the first half mile climb until it toed down to a nice 9 mile decent. I took on the 9 miles and then added my next 2 legs to play catch-up with our runner schedule. This was all going so well until mile 18 (of 24). For some reason, much like my last post in May, my stomach goes sour when I’m in elevation. I wasn’t even pushing the pace and by 18 I started getting the nauseous feeling in my gut. I was running along a highway with no vans in site and doing the math of what the legs I was running totaled. When I initially started running I thought it was about 22 but then as I was feeling sick and my mind became mathematically sharp, for survival purposes, I realized that I had close to a marathon in front of me.  

Thankfully at mile 21 there was a van pulled off to the side to give their runner water. I had been run/walking the last mile or so and was desperate to stop based on previous experiences of this nausea. I knew I could finish the last 3 miles in front of me but we weren’t a competitive team and I also knew that my stomach wouldn’t make right until I stopped running. The van, named “Fatboys”, offered me a ride and I gladly accepted. They knew our situation and I thanked them for likely saving the next 25 miles I had to run in the next 20 hours or so.

The rest of the running was great, stomach was fine and scenery was beautiful. Colorado has odd weather. It was hot during the day. I think the weather was reading mid-70’s but I’ve come to realize this feels like 90 when you are above 9K feet. I actually chafed between my legs (!!!) for the first time for saturating myself during a 14 miles run in exposed sun. By saturating I don’t mean soiled, but just dousing with cold water. Every afternoon brought clouds, rain and lightning. Colorado has an immaculate and extensive bike trail system that most of our running was on. Impressive isn’t the right word, but it’s the first that comes to mind.

Early in the day up at Copper Mountain resort I had the idea to move there during the winter and work at a ski resort. I’m sure the pay would be shit but I’m wondering if I could possibly make the arrangement work. Of course I have a small farm I would have to transport with me and given that things freeze in Colorado this farm would have to remain indoors with me. It is an undeveloped idea at best but moving is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’m wonder if I’m running to or from something. I’ve been reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk and listening to Pink Floyd lately… Not sure why but that seems relevant right here.

Finish Line at Ragnar. Not a bad place to finish a race.

I ended up “accidentally” running over 70 miles this last week. I kinda went big with my running in the days before Colorado and then with the additional miles I had the biggest mileage week I’ve seen in several months. But it felt really good. I’m taking a break this week, likely getting in about 40 miles but want to keep at it with the high mileage. I feel like I think more clearly. Plus I can justify bacon cheeseburgers.

The Breakthrough - Silver State 50M

Sums up my race

Its been 3 days since my ego was dragged through mud vomit in Reno The Biggest Little City in the World. Long enough for me to put on my big girl panties and reflect how great the day actually was (because I'm starting to forget, just like Tan said I would, that awful feeling I had in my stomach that day). 

Truth is, I needed a run like that. I may have said that to Tan when we were hiking at some point in the day. Unless you are ever at rock bottom you can't properly enjoy when things are going well. And my year has gone really well so far - my self-esteem was probably getting a little too big for my small frame and my inner Buddha reminded me that I needed to suffer. 

Not a bad place to suffer

Memorable moments are ones like this above. At one point hiking up towards the peak I asked Tan if I could sit down a minute - it was actually really enjoyable just to sit and look at the view with a friend. And the mint infused lemonade at mile 36 where we discussed again whether or not to DNF. That lemonade made me feel like a million bucks again where I ran a solid mile without stopping! Then mile 39 AS had salsa/meringue music playing and I was feeling so good I was dancing around like a crazy person asking the volunteers to salsa dance with me. 

Amazing these guys were still there! Thank you Pamakids!
And LOOK! 12:29 I came in!! Not sure why my results say 12:33!!!

This was by far the hardest run I've ever done. It wasn't the course itself, although that too was tough, but mentally going through the motions of whether or not to quit something because I didn't feel well and therefore not going to perform as well as I know I could (by a long shot) took a huge toll on me. And I can't say that I would have wanted it any other way. Now that its over. 

A lot of people in this ultra-sport give others a bad time for DNF'ing (did not finish). I've heard on the course of ultras before other people complaining of things hurting and their race not going well but saying "DEATH BEFORE DNF". Whatever.  I'm of the opinion that we can only judge ourselves for the decisions we make and we shouldn't judge someone else's DNF as cowardly or justified. Making that decision sucks and I hope we can all have some decency to let someone else have their experience without calling them names for not "toughing it out".

Tan telling me he's gonna B!tch Slap me if I make him stay out there 5.5 hours.
Eclipse Pizza packet pick-up

And I don't want to end on a dismal note so I'm going to post this rad picture that was posted on FB - I think it was from the Auburn triathlon.. 

I don't know who this guy is but I want to be his friend.

Thanks Tanford! I hope I can return the favor tenfold in San Diego in 2.5 weeks! 

Photos courtesy of Patrick McKenna and Tanford Tahoe.